^^^ I honestly think your experiences might also be mirrored at other types of schools.
Case in point: A big reason why I waited to pursue Alpha on the alumni level was because I was VERY much invested in being an active participant in my campus culture. I was active in APO and did a lot of other things which kept me on campus. The students who pledged NPHC organizations at my schools usually disappeared because their entire social experience changed. Because they were city-wide chapters, chartered at multiple schools, and MY school was the one that didn't recognize Greek life, the majority of the programs were held in other places.
Looking back, I understand why things happened the way that they do, but I was still glad that I waited to join.
I'm sorry that I can't answer your original question at all, but everything else you mention brings up very valid and discussion-worthy points.
