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Okay... alright... I'll take a deep breath, go out on a limb, and tell you how this brother feels.
First of all, while the story of Tina and John is tragic, it is by no means uncommon. Call me a dolt, but that just does not provide me with good enough reason to live with a mate before marriage. Problems are going to come up regardless of the living situation. I doubt that John and Tina would have been any better off had they lived together before jumpin' the broom.
It may surprise you to hear this from a man, but I believe that living together as man and wife before marriage is bad for the relationship's future. It dulls the potency of marriage, and forget not ladies: more often than not, the analogy of the free milk and the cow holds true. I think it is deeply embedded in the male gene. Why, indeed, should I buy the cow when I can get the milk for free? Call me old-fashioned, or overly "in touch with my emotional side", but I think a man who loves a woman would want to marry her as soon as he could get her ring finger sized up. A long term engagement almost defeats the purpose. In all honesty, what is it that you can discover about your mate being "shacked up" that U can't discover during extended time together though you live apart?
That being said, to each their own (is that grammatically correct?)
There are a number of arguments to be made for both sides. You can use the biblical, conservative model, or you can argue for pre-nuptial familiarity and cost-cutting. I leave you with a question: whose idea was it to move in together? The answer to that may provide you a little insight. Midwestdiva just might have a good reason for her thoughts! On the flip side, you most probably have honorable men, who will do the right thing. But don't think living together is gonna be an accurate calculator of marital bliss. Their is something about that ring on a man's finger that twists our heads up.
Thanks!!
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