[AKA_Monet]

Before I was married: I had a HUGE problem with baby's mama's drama... We ain't talking married, had a baby (ies), then divorced. We are talking, never been married, strung quite a few women along, had a few babies with each of them, and how want to get with you--someone who has 3 degrees, worked hard in school, making ends meet, etc. etc. etc. This is this man's family--drama in the past--who would get himself into that hot ghetto mess?

After I was married: There were no hidden trap doors (lol) with baby's mama's calling and hanging up at the house, etc. And whatnot. Extended family may not have much to do with the end result, but I chose someone of similar background to mine. He has both parents--or at least knows both parents and they shaped his personality.

My husband is more distant to his immediate family than I am to mine. Not just physically distant, but also mentally. He speaks to his folks roughly weekly, if that. I speak to my folks almost every other day. But that is my make up. How I connect to my folks is a bone of contention between us, because he does not share similar "family values" as I have been accustomed to. Did I know this before we were married? Sort of... There were some things I was in denial about or thought it would change over time. It did not--it has not--it might not...

Welp, all I can say, the dealbreaker is you never know ultimately until after you sign your name on the license.