The difference between your comparison of adoption and abortion doesn't work because of the economics behind it. If you're interested in adoption, you have to have some extra cash on hand. The same just isn't true (to the same extent) of abortion. An adoption is going to cost you an absolute minimum of around $5000-7000 (unless you're going through the foster care system, which, needless to say, most people don't), but probably closer to $20,000-30,000, and potentially all the way on up to $45,000. The extra $1000 or so that you might have to spend to arrange an out-of-state adoption is probably not going to seem like that much. (The extra $1000 you'd have to spend on going out of state for an abortion, however, probably is significant to a lot of women.) A couple that's just barely scraping by in the first place just wouldn't be looking into adoption. They wouldn't be able to afford it.
I'm not trying to be dismissive here, I just tend to take a big picture, long-range view of things. The big picture shows that, even for straight couples, the American adoption system discriminates against fully capable, loving prospective parents on a number of criteria that have nothing to do with their ability to be parents -- being single, their age, their financial status (requiring them to have far more money than, say, a young couple about to have their first biological kid would need). Or even in states where gay marriage is legal, the biological mother will request that their child have straight adoptive parents. This is why many couples, both straight and gay, or single people have chosen overseas adoption for years -- it's just easier and faster than the extremely restrictive American adoption process. The bottom line is that adoption is just very expensive and very difficult for most Americans, regardless of sexuality, so going out of state to complete an adoption seems like, well, not that big of a deal compared to a lot of the other things they might have to go through during the adoption process. I don't like the law for what it stands for, this idea of codifying into law a completely screwed-up form of discrimination, this idea that gay parents will somehow magically mess up their children more than abusive or neglectful straight ones . . . but in terms of its practical applications, I don't think it will prevent many, if any, gay parents who really want to adopt from adopting in the long term.
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