Not a taboo topic, and important topic that's hard to talk about.
First of all, that's a long freakin' time to wait for a test result! When I got tested last year, we had a result in less than a half hour. (mouth swab, then wait.) During that wait, I had conversations with people on my campus who I had never met or talked before in my life. We were crammed in a hallway in the health centre, waiting for our test results, all nervous as hell. Whenever someone got their results, sometimes they would jump up and down and hoop and holler, and people would clap. It was strange and supportive, and overall positive. The only part that sucked was that last .2 of a second before the clinician says, "your results are...." are KILLER. What happened after I got my (negative) result was we talked about why I was here, how I could avoid being there again, signs and symptoms of HIV/AIDS, and cards to give out to my neighbors with testing info.
OK, so, how you calm yourself is to do some research. How long has it been between partners (this is rhetorical, of course!) for you? For your partner? Most diseases have a "time frame" when symptoms will appear, although of course you may not have any symptoms but still be positive. Have your annual OB/GYN visits gone without incident? What about your partner's exams? I guess this is in the category of calculating your exposure risk.
Then of course, you've got to have the discussion of "what happens if one of us is positive for [insert disease here]? How will you deal with treatment? What are your support systems? How will you prevent it from being transmitted to your partner? How to contact your prior partners and alert them to your status?
After your results come back (Negative, hopefully!
), you've gotta start thinking about how to keep yourself out of the risk category. What can you do now that you didn't do before?
The waiting sucks dude, but you did a smart and brave thing. It is really easy to not get tested, but like those old psa's say, "knowledge is power".