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I love that your view of a good sorority is their social calendar.
Perhaps your (admittedly, to you) shy daughter enjoys the sisterhood she's found? Or perhaps she enjoys the philanthropy? Or maybe, just maybe, she likes the people she's met and isn't as image conscious or concerned about what other people think as you are?
It's not your choice. It's not your school. It's not your sorority. It's not your life. It's your daughter's, and she seems to be doing quite well at it despite your involvement.
And if, one day, she decides that she DID make a mistake - it's HER mistake, not yours. Never will be yours. Ever. She's a big girl and can make a decision about being initiated or not without your help.
So instead of being embarrassed by her (and don't think you aren't - being embarrassed by her choices is showing embarrassment over who she is choosing to be as a person), let her live her own life and get whatever she wants to get out of her sorority experience.
Don't try and regain your college years through her; she is not you.
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