Dear Dish Network,
The time to try to woo me back was, oh, maybe before yall's ultra-sensitive satellite signal began to consistently go out in regular rain drizzles, never mind severe weather (which would be understandable). And the time to try to woo me back was surely not after I'd been transferred between phone reps numbers 4 and 5
MaryJane, I'm sure you're a nice woman and all, but by the time you got on the line (rep #5), there wasn't really anything for us to talk about. Peace.
Dear Randy Moss,
Will you do something, anything, please?!? My fantasy football team is getting kilt, due in part to your rumor-like performances lately....as in it was a rumor that you were actually in the stadium, let alone scoring points on the field.