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My two cents:
If I were you, I'd get off Greek Chat and go figure out how to resolve this issue face to face with your boyfriend. If a girl I was rushing unloaded all of this on me, it would be HUGE red flags. I know sororities like the particular one you're pursuing is WAYYYYY too involved with other things, respectable, and strong to want to deal with all of this drama.
What are you going to do when he won't let you go to social functions? What about community work? How about having to maintain the secrets of the organization? Is he going to be able to handle you not being able to tell him ritual secrets? What if he doesn't like the sorority colors? What if he doesn't like your sisters? It seems petty but the way you're talking about him, I wouldn't put any of these things past him.
You said he thinks you'll "change" if you join a sorority. He's RIGHT. You'll most likely CHANGE into a stronger woman, a better leader, and a more involved member of the community. Maybe, juuuust maybe you'll gain some INDEPENDENCE.
You need to take a huge step back and figure out what's more important to you:
a) Some guy you've been dating 5 years controlling your life and never letting you accomplish anything, except maybe learning how to iron his clothes in record time.
or
b) A lifetime bond with a century old organization with the potential to turn you in to a strong, level-minded, goal oriented woman that will benefit you for the rest of your life.
So, what other excuses do you have?
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