[Little32]

Troubling dilemma. I am sure that this question has been asked before, and if you do a search, you will probably find other useful advice. But for now, I will offer you this:

My thoughts are that if you and this fellow are going to last and he knows that you are who he wants to be with, he is going at least try to make it work. Regardless of what he thinks he "knows" about this situation, you are not this other person and he has not been through this situation with you. If he thinks that you pursuing a dream of yours is going to jeopardize the relationship, then ultimately it will jeopardize the relationship. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, I think.

Also, your friend sounds a bit controlling. Many of the things that we aspire to, beyond sorority membership, are wants and not needs. Many of the experiences that we have, whether attaining a graduate degree, getting the dream job, whatever, do change us as individuals. Hopefully, we become increasingly better versions of ourselves. If you friend trusts you, then he will know that you are committed to being with him as you go through these changes. However, it sounds to me like he is a bit insecure. Maybe he believes that as you change, you will be less committed to him. Maybe this is his way of letting you know that he will let you go before you can let him go.

If you don't do this because he doesn't want you to, what will stop him from attempting to curtail the other dreams that you have for yourself? I never think that you should be with anyone who would try to stop you from doing something that is so clearly important to you. If you don't at least try, you are going to regret it later; particularly if you and this young man don't work out.