Soror, Looking at this, you may point out to her that the bride herself is 40. Therefore, obviously, there are still opportunities for marriage at her age (39), as she is even younger than the bride.
I think that we, as women, should focus on a couple of things.
1. When it is G-D's time for us to have a marriage, we will.
2. Marriage is not the end all be all. So you get married. Ok, then what? So what? (And this is from a person in a serious relationship). My point in saying this is to say that, as women, I hear girlfriends all the time hoping and wishing to be married. Really, for what? It is not like life ends at that point in time, neither does it begin at that point in time. I think it's healthy to perhaps realize that marriage is not the end all be all, it's not going to make her happy or whole or even necessarily keep her company. I can feel Soror AKAMonet's point to an extent as I was in another serious relationship for two years and was absolutely lonely and bored out of my mind. And he, by all accounts, on paper, was a good catch. All of this to say, perhaps a revamping of perspective may help your friend.
3. Now, if she is still dead set that she would really like for it to be her, then I will share with her my personal tips for whatever they may be worth. They have kept me somewhat gainfully dating - even in Atlanta where the ratio is supposedly bad for women. Whatever.
Here are my tips:
a) Dating is a numbers game. The more you date, the more chances you have to meet that special person. Accordingly, go out alot and, more importantly, when you are out, position yourself to be approached by men of interest, i.e., stand next to him, smile, ask for the time, compliment him on his watch, ask if this is a good place for professionals, whatever. Just make up a reason to talk to him. If he is even moderately interested, he will bite.
b) Always be pulled together, to some extent. Lose any ponytails, pull backs, sweatpants, etc. If she's got a nice shape, she should wear somewhat form-fitting clothes and heels as much as possible. Men.are.carnal.creatures. They will bite.
c) Check the "I'm never going to find anyone" attitude at the door and, as importantly, stop engaging in girlfriends with that convo. Any woman will need to revamp her attitude to attract quality men. If she thinks she will not find anyone or everyone is up to no good, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Besides, the girlfriends that she's talking to probably don't have anyone either. What's the point? Misery loves company I guess. But I thought the point was to find a man. I digress.
d) Stop going to events with girlfriends - go alone. It is much easier for a man to approach a woman by herself. Further, a woman cannot use her girlfriends as a convenient crutch to converse with all night long. When you're by yourself, you have no choice but to mingle, or look crazy.
The real secret is that most women do not mingle with men when they go out. They simply stay in a corner or wherever with their girlfriends. How do I know? Because over my many years of mingling, I have noticed that I am one of only few women actually walking around talking to people (including men, especially the cute ones that I'm interested in) and working the room. One need only be a woman standing in the middle of the room to notice that she is almost entirely alone surrounded by a sea of men, as all of the other women are on the periphery with their girlfriends.
That's my two cents. I hope that it helps her or someone reading this post.
SC
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blacksocialite
Hello everyone,
A good friend of mine informed me today that she is suffering from 'wedding/baby shower/bridal shower fatigue.' The catalyst of her statement is that we just received bridal shower invites for a mutual friend getting married this fall.
I'm excited for the first time 40 year old bride.
My good friend...not so much.
She said that she's emotionally exhausted from all of the celebrations because she dateless and lonely.
I don't know what to say (I'm rarely at a lost for words or advice)  .
This is not a financial issue, this is purely emotional.
She said the whole process of preparing for any of these events drains her. She added that it was fun when we were younger (she's 39, I'm 37), but after fifteen years of attending events (and holding out hope and prayers that your turn is coming), she's 'just tired.'
I read a few articles on this topic but they were lame.
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