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Barbie, our husband's do what they do b/c they chose to. We all know the knock on the door can come anytime and we will will be wearing black and listening to a 21 guy salute. That does not mean we live our lives in fear and discourage our kids from having normal lives (if normal means living in 10 states by time they graduate high school). I'm sorry for your loss, but there will always be greater tragedies than our own. (i.e. 9/11 and Katrina). This does not mean we can't be hapy for our own little successes in life or worry about our own small problems.
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