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You might want to do some research on that. Panhellenic has strict rules that would preclude the presence of sorority women at fraternity rush parties during formal recruitment, and preclude the presence of rushees at any fraternity parties- but I have never seen or heard of any IFC rule that females may not be present at fraternity rush events. And I sure as hell never attended any rush party without lots of ladies.
A rushee or active who can bring high caliber women to a party- and not just hot, but smart, interesting etc.- is saying a great deal to his credit that ladies are willing to associate with him and trust him to bring them to an event they would like and where they would have a good time.
You sit at home and plan your recruitment party with pizza and Coke watching a video from nationals if you want, but that is not how successful and ambitious people think.
And let me tell you that successful and ambitious rushees go on to become successful and ambitious brothers- and very financially successful alumni whose donations make it possible for fraternities to continue to exist.
PS- Many Universities/fraternities have banned "sweethearts". So the one thing you do think acceptable is actually the one thing that is widely discouraged.
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