Dear virgin roots of the AFRO-american descent:
It has been 9 weeks since I have used a relaxer. Yes, I am going to try this natural thing and hopefully I will last. However, my beautiful, kinky virgin roots, I need a little cooperation from you. I cannot have you poofing up everytime a smidget of humidity touches you. Everyday, you are making me want to run to the beauty supply store and get a.... well, you know.... a relaxer. I can't be seen walking around with relaxed hair attached to an afro. It's just not a good look.

Thanks, and that is all.

Me