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Dear Fiber & Water (also known as healthy lifestyle),
I am really trying to get into you, but you are causing me problems. Eat fiber and drink water they say. Well for the past 7 days I have adapted to doing just this and it is great; I feel full all the time because all this water expands the luscious fiber in my stomach making me feel satisfied.
But fiber, no matter how good for me you are, you are low brow evil!
I stand in elevators or go around people and think they are the ones with the air filtration problems. But when I am finally alone, I realize it is ME who needs to attach an air filter to my derriere. Fiber, you are making me feel very trifling, especially when that lady walked into my space after you quietly AND discretely slipped your byproduct out of my rear.
Fiber and water, you make me regular and I am catching up on reading about Lil'Wayne but dayum, I didn't have time to sit before, and I don't have time now. But admittedly my dearest friends, fiber and water, I barely read the first paragraphs and its over, so thanks for making things short, sweet and to the point. It just that I don't need 2-3 attempts per day to finish reading about Lil'Wayne.
Fiber and water, I am going to stick with our new relationship, but please speed up the process of me adapting. I need friends and I can't go around explaining "Excuse me for smelling like moldy cardboard soaked in rotten eggs, I am trying to increase my fiber intake".
This random triflingness has to stop.
Thanks in advance for helping me to lose atleast 10 pounds by September.
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