[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by smc112

I do have a question for you. Do you think it is wrong to date other people while you are single? I've had the mentality that you are free to talk to whoever while you are single. I'm not talking about sleeping around with various people. I'm talking about going out on dates and getting to know another individual. I feel that people should always keep their options open while they are single. You might find that the other individual might be more compatible with you and might be a better fit for a mate. Anyway, getting back to the original question. Do you feel that it is wrong for single people to date others? For an example, my sister was dating this guy and their relationship was always up and down. She met another guy while she was talking to her boyfriend. Guess what? The other guy she met, they got married and have been married for 6 years now and have two children together. If she were so adamant about a monogamous relationship, she wouldn't have ever met her husband. So I in a sense feel people need to keep all options open while they are single. What do you think?

Yeah, technically you are free to see other people if you're single(not married). You're not married, so technically it's o.k. It's just me. I only commit myself to one woman at a time, and if she's not the right one, I end the relationship, take a break for a while to work on myself, and then I move onto the next one. I never get involved with other women while I'm involved with my own. What you're doing isn't wrong because you are not married to him, but I do think the person you are seeing should be on the same page as you. Since you're not having sexual relations with other men, I don't see anything abnormal here. Honestly though, if you're having 2nd thoughts about him, you should let him know and break it off before you start to see other men. To me, I think it's only fair and the right thing to do.

When it comes to relationships, I think a lot of times people too often become consumed with the emotion of "romance", and very quickly after marriage, we find that the romance evaporates to reveal two very flawed jokers in a difficult world, which could have been the case with your sister if she would have married her X. I would rather stay with one woman and involve no other woman until I see my current relationship isn't going to work out. The reason why I mention how people get caught up in the romance of it all is because they don't realize that sooner or later they'll discover that the bright and happy romance has devolved into everyday living, and that's when they discover that their spouses have a shortage of character and virtue, then couples become discouraged and frustrated. This is why a lot of couples get divorced before the ink on the marriage license has dried. Me? I have to go in for the long haul. If I start to feel that she's not good for me, I would let her know before I started seeing another woman. No relationship is going to be roses, not even a marriage. I'm not sure what your situation may be, but IMO, as long as two people are physically attracted to each other, and have respect and love for each other, I don't see why they need to split or see other people.

I think what happens from the beginning in these relationships today, is people are quick to fall into romance, and then later, quick to bail out of commitment.

If you are involved with someone, whatever you may be going through, my advice to you is to make sure he is serving you. I mention this a lot in the D&R forums. This is important in any relationship. At least it is in mine. When you choose a person to get into a relationship with, especially for a woman choosing a man, because to me, there is nothing more winsome as a servants heart in a potential spouse. You have to ask yourself, is the man (I'm assuming you're a woman.) to whom you are attracted quick to give to others, or quick to go the 2nd mile in serving others? Or does this joker seem to live only for himself, withdraw the needs of others, or pretty much seek to satisfy himself only? A selfish, "do for me and don't ask me to do for you" joker is not someone you'll be happy with long term.

When you get some time, read Genesis 24:14. If I'm not mistaken this should elaborate on why I say a man should serve his woman. If it's the wrong verse let me know, but I think it may be the right one.

I hope you find the right man, if you haven't already.

ETA: Make sure you watch how he behaves when he's under pressure or stress too. That's important.