Lost, why this one Fraternity (not frat) ?
While all Internationals are Great, the individual Chapters may not be to your liking! I can see why according to what you wrote!
LOOK at to other Fraternitys!
Our # 54 had his son join PSE because he did not want to be known as RAMBOS BOY! I think he wishes he had joined us but he is making changes in his Chapter!
There are GOOD people in many other Fraternitys. I do not beleive in Hazing and if I tried to join one and found that they did I would Damn Skippy not be a member of that Org!
Best of luck in your endevors!