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Hi, being another Northern Greek at a Big Ten University, I'll let you know how our fraternity rush is structured and whats appropriate...
Our rush is informal and dry. Its usually 2-3 weeks into the school year. Fraternities will hold BBQs and parties during welcome week and the first few weeks of the school year, usually toning down the weekend before rush (because sorority girls aren't allowed at our houses the weekend before or the week of rush). We have two door girls that'll welcome the guys as they come in & take down their information/pictures for us.
Once they're at our house... we play card games and eat/hang out. We play lots, and LOTS of card games. My chapter has a "no TV" rule in effect for rush unless something big is going on, because it doesn't foster communication between brothers and PNMs.
Our rush lasts 4 days (that may change in the fall, but traditionally it has been 4 days). On Mondays the brothers wear jeans/rush t-shirts (either old or new ones, we like to show a variety of the t-shirts, and not all look the same.). Tuesdays the brothers should be wearing Jeans/Polo or Khaki/Polo. Wednesdays we were button down tucked in with khakis. Thursdays we're in formal attire and we do dinners like we normally do during the school year.
Rush runs from 7-10 for those 4 days, we hand out bids that Thursday night.
Some houses on my campus dirty rush. If they're caught by IFC (IFC has the right to walk through the house at any time during rush) they are usually placed on some kind of probation and its reported to their nationals. Dirty rush would be considered: any kind of drinking, or girls other than the two door girls in the house during rush.
In terms of what *not* to do, and this is more general and some are probably not applicable to the kind of guy that your boyfriend is:
Don't talk about partying unless asked about it. And be mum on the details. "Yeah, I have a good time." or "Yeah, I was at that party last week, I had a blast" is cool. Saying "I got so hammered that I pissed myself" is not.
Don't act like you belong in that house. Rush is AWKWARD in this situation. We all know it. We're making judgement decisions on guys based on *at MOST* 12 hours of interaction. By the end of the week things'll probably be less awkward, but that doesn't mean that you "belong" there for a while.
Don't be upset if some of your friends who are in the house are kind of ignoring you - they already know you, they're trying to let everyone else get to know you after they introduce you, plus they've got to meet the other potentials.
Now some things you SHOULD do:
I would DEFINITELY talk about my military experience, if I had any. It shows that you can deal with tough situations, that you'll likely be a leader in the house because of your experience in those tough situations. The current president of IFC at my university is an ex-marine. Some houses might not like it, but my own house just graduated a non-traditional student that took a few years off. My only caveat would be "don't brag about it." Talk about how it influenced your life and some of your experiences, don't act high and mighty about it.
Definitely talk about his interest in philanthropy. That is something that he can make his own, even if there isn't a philanthropy for that house. Or it can show him that a particular house may not be right for him.
Anyway, this is kind of long, but there was a bunch of stuff I wanted to throw out there for you/him to consider. One thing he might want to look into is joining a smaller house, if he's more interested in the "brotherhood" side of it. I personally belong to a house that is about on the median for my campus, this fall we'll have 39 actives. I love the fact that we're a small house and have started to compete with big houses. I also feel like I am much more tight nit with my house and my pledge class.
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