[Taualumna]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Okay, I'm going to give this another shot.

You're Christian and he's Jewish. During the three years you've been dating, this hasn't really been an issue, because neither of you are particularly religious or observant. However, as you have begun to talk about marriage (and having kids maybe?), you're starting to wonder if a Jewish identity is more important to him than you (or he, perhaps) thought. And you're wondering whether that might be a deal breaker for you.

Do I have it right now?

It's actually fairly common for religion, or at least religious identity, to become more important to people when they get married or, especially, have kids. People who were somewhat indifferent to their own religious background often start to see things differently when they create their own family; they want that family, and their children in particular, to have a religious identity.

If this is the case, then we were right. Your question really isn't about how to deal with food at the reception. That's just the conversation starter for a much deeper issue -- one that really has to be resolved before marriage.

Basically yes, that's it.