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I'm no where close to getting married (I'm 23)...I'm not even in a relationship. But this is just my opinion...
1. The people that I know that have gotten married young were very mature, settled, very grounded, and had been in the relationship for more than 2 years. I have to agree with you that it all depends on what level the individuals are as well as the relationship.
2. Personally, I'm not into formalities, but.... my family is and I understand. I think it's just a respect thing. If your family likes him, then I don't see a problem.
3. As long as it's from the heart, it doesn't matter how big or small.
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