[preciousjeni]

Everyone has insecurities and those insecurities are enhanced when you're with a person for the wrong reasons. In the situations y'all are citing, people second-guess themselves and feel the need to constantly defend their relationships.

My husband is a lot older than I am and he's black. When we first got married, the age difference caused me some stress, but the interracial aspect never did. I believe that, early on, my husband was somewhat uncomfortable/insecure being married to a white woman for the reasons that many of you have stated in this thread. I accept that some people are ok with it and some are not. I understand why people are uncomfortable with BM/WW pairings and I do not begrudge them their opinions. I don't bear any feelings of hostility nor do I flippantly brush off the reality of the situation.

When I got married, I believed (and still do) that I was doing what was right in the eyes of God and that was my primary motivation. In the short time we've been married, we've experienced racial incidents, mostly involving racism directed at my husband with me learning the best way to handle the situation. My instinct is to attack because I love him, but there are more effective ways of dealing with people.

At one point, I was put in a position that shamed me. My husband was driving in the south and got pulled over. But, I believe that because I was in the car with another white family member, the officer checked us out and let us go without a warning or anything. He just told us to leave. In a sense, the experience was positive in that my family member had his first personal glimpse into DWB and the continued systemic racism that exists today.