[33girl]

If you send a donation to the charity in his memory, they'll ask who it's coming from. The family of the deceased will get a list from the charity of who donated.

Do not mention your donation in the sympathy card. Send the card directly to her house. You can address it to her, or to "Alum's Husband Family" at her address. It is not strange that you're sending it on behalf of the alum association at all. My chapter sisters got together & got flowers for my mom and just put on it "Alpha Sigma Alpha Sisters and Alumnae." As a rule, the simplest cards are the best. Unless you know someone well, I would caution against a personally written note (as opposed to a sympathy card).