Quote:
Originally Posted by GammaZeta
I wonder if poker is on the banned list? After all, someone could get a really nasty papercut from one of the cards, get an infection and then die!
The official list of Lambda Chi Alpha approved recruitment events:
1. Sitting in a room by yourself
2. Daydreaming by yourself
3. Sleeping
4. Bouncing an approved rubber ball (with proper eye, wrist and knee protection)
5. Humming a tune
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1. Promotes loneliness and depression. You may wind up getting bored and falling out of your chair as you sleep. This would result in lawsuit.
2. Daydreaming is bad. It promotes insanity and a lack of reality. You'll lose your mind the way people say Dungeons & Dragons players did in the 80s! This would result in a serious lawsuit!
3. Sleeping promotes inactivity and eventual health problems due to obesity. Besides, you're defenseless to attack when asleep and someone may break into your room to hit you! This lawsuit could be crippling!
4. This implies some kind of perverted activity and therefore should not be allowed. Even the protection you listed did not include a protective cup, chest padding or neck brace. Besides, many people are allergic to rubber and this would cause blindness or even death! Can you imagine the lawsuit?
5. This could lead to an American Idol tryout. This is the worst of them all. First off, what if you develop laryngitis? What if you become angry and attack Simon Cowell when he insults your horrible rendition of Magic Carpet Ride? This should be banned before anything else!