[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

PB, there will come a time when EVERYONE will disrespect themselves, their partner, and their relationship. You will do it one day if you haven't already and, if you think you haven't, one of your past girlfriends might disagree. I have been tempted, realized I was wrong, and "tightened the boundaries" to make my committment stronger all the way up until we parted for other reasons. You cannot possibly have a long-standing relationship where you will never flirt with temptation, accidentally or otherwise. Everyone in this world who has ever had a partner has, is currently, or will in the future disrespect what they have with another person, either because they meant no harm or because they knew better but thought the "20 was worth leaving the 80" so-to-speak. I would take that into account before deciding to leave who I have been convinced is the love of my life. Depending on how it goes, I might have to leave later, but for a few dinners before he just cut it off himself? No.

You've made some valid points, but I don't agree with all of them.

christiangirl. Because of the very nature of human beings, relationships will be imperfect and there's no such thing as the ideal relationship. You are always going to be dating somone with flaws. But, remember, there are flaws you can live with, and those you cannot. Those ones that you can live with can teach you a lot about patience and acceptance, as well as intimacy and working through conflict. But serious character flaws can destroy and cripple the relationship. To me, what was said in the OP is a serious character flaw that destroys relationships by causing insecurities.

In a relationship, if you are dealing with a joker who hurts you, leaves you feeling bad about yourself, the relationship and hurts you in other ways, then you are dealing with things that you should not be allowing. If you're feeling a lot of bad things as a result of being with this person, let that be a sign that he isn't the right one.

Ultimately you'll get what you value. If you value a relationship where your man has been giving his time to another woman he has feelings for, rather it's over dinner or whatever, then do what you have to do to stop the destruction. I wouldn't get involved with a woman who gives her time to another man she has feelings for. If I was already involved with her, I would leave her and wouldn't look back.

Going to dinner with another woman/man where feelings are involved isn't flirting. I call that emotional cheating. CG, when I'm in a relationship, I don't flirt with other women, and if I have by mistake, or she feels that I have, I cut it off before it turns into something unsatisfactory. I value good things and say no to things that destroy. I don't see a woman that spends her time with another man who she has feelings for as the "love of my life."

Good luck to you.