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Originally Posted by EE-BO
And while I agree with what you are saying, the big question becomes what happens when there is no Mom or Dad around to administer the tough love?
I really do think that a kid who feels alone in the world and turns to violence will be very unlikely to change from that course if they are just dumped in jail. That merely justifies their resorting to being "tough" as the only way to survive and have a sense of security.
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Well, what you have just described has been going on for over 20 years in destitute neighborhoods... No responsible adult to administer love: be it tough or otherwise.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EE-BO
The discussion I think needs to happen is this- "Who becomes the parent figure in the lives of kids who get in trouble and do not have birth parents willing to fill that role?"
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Video games. The internet. Myspace. Perverts. Hustlers. Pimps. Hos. Jerry Springer. Dope Dealers. Crack Addicts. Gamblers. Pedophiles. Those are the folks eager to take these children and destroy them...
Quote:
Originally Posted by EE-BO
And in that comes a multitude of secondary questions. What are the standards, if any? How can we be sure case by case evaluations are fair and accurate? Let's face it, a poor African-American child is far more likely to be considered "lost" than some wealthy white kid who commits an act of similar gravity.
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Standards as parents? There are parenting classes. But you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink... If DSHS takes your kids away, you have to take some level of parenting classes. It would be nice to not have stressors in your life when one's poor. But, these booterrific problems have a way compounding...
As far as saying race: I don't really agree with all that. There are a bunch of problems with everybody's kids these days. Maybe the rich parents can get their kids out of trouble better than a poor parent(s). But the dividing line is less and less about race than it is about economics... Unfortunately, I am not deluded to think that 70%+ of the poor people are of various ethnic groups that have a darker complexion. But, where I am, I see similar kid problems everybody's community.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EE-BO
I just turned off the TV and I was watching a forum discussion on race on MSNBC. During that forum, one of the participants told the story of a young African-American male who was in court for something he had done and the judge was telling him that he was lucky to be just 2 months shy of 16 since it meant he would go to juvie instead of being at risk for going to prison.
The young man replied that he didn't care where he went as long as it was not home.
That is terrifying.
And it is all the more worrisome given how American society is evolving. For the forseeable future, the US is becoming a country of enormous wealth and leadership driven by labor provided outside of the US.
This just widens the gap between the rich and the poor, and shrinks the middle class.
And in turn, that makes youth who make one mistake or are not raised by good parents all the more likely to fall into a position where they can never get ahead no matter how smart, ambitious or genuinely "good" they are.
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Well. This was how it was in 1992 before the LA Riots... I have heard this talk. There might be baptism by fire at higher stakes... I don't know. Kids have given up because how do you teach a child hope who have never seen any hope?
I think that NO ONE can compete with United States ingenuity. Folks cannot bootleg that, it cannot be outsourced, and it is all of us who engender the true nature of our American heritage and its founding--the only word I can come up with is ingenuity. That is not seen in other countries and even if they tried, it still would not taste right--like an Apple Pie, BBQ or hayle veggie burger (
)...
Somehow, our connection to our children will be improved for all children. It might take a rooting out of the old and the coming in with the new. Or it may mean that we try something we don't like--i.e. military support--what are our wounded, but healed soldiers doing with their lives now? I am sure if asked they might step up and make many of kids proud... At least that has been my experience and opinion.