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Originally Posted by PrettyBoy
I got this far, and then I was done reading.
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it's easy to judge other people and their decisions.
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Originally Posted by jtrain12
Alright, so my ex-girlfriend, who i am still friends with, has recently started seeing this guy. I have been sort of skeptical of this guy from the start, as he is 6 years old than she is (shes 18, hes 24). Well last night, when she was drunk, my friend confessed to me that he has been hitting her, in addition to not approving of her hanging out with me, or with girls in her sorority. When I told her that she should leave him, or at least get counseling, she said, "no, its not that big of a deal, because I do stupid things so I deserve it, and hes a nice guy sometimes." She also made me promise not to tell this to any of her friends.
So anyways, im conflicted as to what to do here. On one hand, I know that she will not have the courage to step up her self and take the proper steps to take care of this problem, wether its leaving him, or getting counseling, or calling the police or w/e, and since I now know this is occuring, I feel somewhat responsible, espically if she were to get seriously inured as a result of this. However, on the other hand I don't want to betray her trust on this matter.
P.S. this may seem like an attempt to get back with her/ get back at her, but you have to understand that couldn't be further from the truth; I broke up with her, and she gave me multiple opportunities to come back.
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I agree with OTW, I would talk to her friends about it, and depending on how that goes, follow up with her, etc. She might not be happy about it at first, and that's something you might have to deal with, but ultimately, you have this information, and it's important that you pass it along. She is in trouble, whether she wants to admit it or not (the possessiveness, not letting her do things or see her friends AND abusing her?) and if she was having suicidal thoughts, would you stand by and do nothing? (i'm not trying to be accusatory, but trying to put this serious situation into perspective). You may lose her as a friend for a little while, and that might be something you'll have to live with, but she might also be grateful, she told you for a reason and that could be her cry for help, whether she realizes it or not...
Good luck, and you are doing the right thing.