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I think it's fine to be cautious about who comes to stay in your house. Even with women's groups, I've seen a chapter that was more party oriented cause trouble on campus for a chapter that was more scholarly, reserved (at a campus that was more reserved in general). Sometimes the norm on one campus is NOT the norm at another and if members behave in a certain way, it can be a real detriment. Nobody is really going to remember that the people in letters who were out of control were not from YOUR chapter on YOUR campus and it can lead to real problems for everybody.
I think it's wise to sound them out, tread carefully, and determine, in advance, what their goal of visiting is.
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