[baci]

I found this thread to be very interesting and I want to thank everyone for proving we can discuss somewhat "touchy" subjects without huge fallouts.

I am not fully in the know about fraternities, but I can say I am a lifelong Floridian. I attended UF and I can agree that it is different when it comes to fraternities vs. "The South". I would like to think after numerous generations continue to pass here, it may establish itself in time and its powers just like the old south. It is odd to say/explain, but in a way Florida sort of stands on its own. I do think many people can understand what I am saying (especially those who live here).

I came through at a time when So Florida was growing. I was a little girl when hardly anyone was here. My city began development when I was a toddler and I have lived there since. It was a nice area/well respected among upper middle class families and some ultra rich. My point in this, when you rushed/were recruited it almost didn't matter where you lived because everything was so new and unestablished. People just thought it was neat to hear if you lived near them or they recognized your little suburb. It was comforting to talk to someone and they knew little quirks about your area and its newness.

I can speak for my knowledge about sororities. It was not peaches and cream. It was extremely tough and competitive and it really was out of your control for the most part. Majority of the girls on my hall rushed and only three received bids. It was first and foremost about how you looked. If you did not have the level of "good looks", you immeditaley were knocked out of numerous groups. Then, your "figure" came into play. After that, it was what your father did for a living and how much money you were perceived to have. From there it was how you dressed, your jewelry, and what handbag you carried etc. It then went to your grades, high school activities, what area you were from, and possibly a mention of your school. (Remember, our areas and schools were all so new). If you were the daughter of someone very important you garnered a pass on much of the above and everyone knew it. If you were a legacy it was important, but all the recs were not as important.

This was the truth and it was extremely hurtful to so many young girls. I will never forget all the tears and hurt from the rush week and on for the entire school year. I have to say it brewed some hate between greek and non-greek women. It was hard to see so many girls upset and everyone knew much of it was based on looks and an outward visual. Many outstanding girls were never even close to being part of a sorority and they had greatness to offer.

A great deal of time has passed and I am sure aspects of this have changed, but I am a realist. To a degree, this is what real life is like and I don't like to hide this when I speak to younger people. I really like to be honest, but I do it with encouraging words and a positive angle.

When I was at the university, it was really like this. I see the parallels as I read the fraternity stories. To tell someone to go into rush now with an open mind is nice, but you aslo have to go in realistically as well.

I love the entire greek system and there is so much goodness involved, but I know from my experience that many people do not enter into the system at such a young age for the philanthropy and for reasons in which it was initially established. That is life. I am one of the people who cheer for the people who go AI because many of those women really want to be a part of the group for strong reasons, especially if they enter the group at much older ages.

The tier system will always be here and there is no getting away from it. This is how life really is. As you age, you will see that this does become less important. How you look, how much money you have, where you live, what type of work you engage in all become less important. The goodness inside of each person is much more important. How you live your life, how you carry yourself, how you treat others, and the goodness you do is of much more importance. Kind of funny because "doing good" is what sorority life is truly based.