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I think that the backlash is defensive... like maybe the stay-at-home moms view the show as a criticism of their own lives. Trying to look from their perspective... I've often felt a little patronized and defensive when watching a Wife Swap show where one of the wives is telling the other that she isn't a good mom for not cooking, cleaning, etc. everything around the house because the other mom has a job she is trying to balance.
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