Dear Oregon Alpha Xi -
I'm an Alpha Xi Delta from the University of Florida, and from what I can tell (remembering my pledge education and looking at the manuals/info I had when I was on the exec council), here's what I was told about our letters ...
Only initiated sisters can wear/have/possess certain symbols, including
* the Quill (pin)
* the crest (this includes on clothing, glassware, jewelry, anything)
* the lavaliere (in any form, the standard letter shapes or the letters engraved on something)
our rules on the lavaliere may be something that was just my chapter's custom, because I knew other sororities that let their pledges/new members wear lavalieres (DG does at UF I know for sure), but I am pretty sure that it's a national rule
Regarding letters on clothes:
Obviously date function/philanthropy t-shirts can be worn by anyone - half the fun is seeing guys wearing shirt from your events.
"Block letter" shirts (the shirts with the embroidery)had more complicated rules. Originally when I pledged, only initiated sisters could wear them. Then the rule changed so we gave them to new members on Big Sis Revealing night. But I'm still pretty sure that these are reserved for members only.
Maybe it's just not done at my school, but I have NEVER heard of a girl giving a guy her letters. Maybe it's a little old-fashioned, but it does reflect that guys give us promise rings, engagement rings, etc. so they give us their lavaliere, not the other way around. And a lot of married guys don't wear wedding bands, but women almost always do. Fraternity guys that have girlfriends in sororities here just end up with a lot of date function t shirts from her chapter and that's about it.
If you think about it, fraternities don't normally wear lavalieres, but sororities do. So it follows that when a relationship gets serious, the guy gives the girl his letters to wear on her necklace with or instead of her own.
So, a long story, but the short answer is that I am almost positive that (sorry!) your boyfriend CANNOT wear your lavaliere.
TFJ forever!!!
Xi love,
G8Ralphaxi
[This message has been edited by G8Ralphaxi (edited February 16, 2001).]