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FuzzieAlum, I can only speak about my daughter's experience and I think a lot of it boils down to the individual. Most of the girls were fresh out of HS and approached rush with expectations that a similar "reward" system to existed in college. Remember, all it took was a pleasant personality, good grades and attractveness on some level to be a part of the social scene. Someone pointed out that almost every girl going though rush had these qualities to some degree. I know most of her friends expected to be sought after by ALL the sororities unaware that so many variables like the number of girls/legacies/friends/quota etc. would have a major impact on the outcome. GC helped her (and me) come to terms with the competitive nature of rush. She was prepared for the very real possibility of NOT getting a bid from any of the sororities. I don't think enough rushees realize this. How do you inform them without breaking their confidence? (Which I believe is a VERY important quality to have during rush)
I just had lunch with one of the mothers of a girl who was a legacy and CUT. It was the first time we have "talked" since it happened. I think she was more devistated than her daughter. To be honest, I STILL can't figure out the WHY when I see who they did pledge from our area... ANYWAY-not only did she think/know she would be an XYZ, she felt certain she would have her choice of the "top" sororities because a "friend" all but told her she was in. She ended up droping out after the second round.
Now compare that to my daughter. She went in with NO expectation, only hopes. Yes, she was cut by one she REALLY liked, but was more like, "Oh, well" when others cut her. She did have the "luxuary" of cutting as well. She was carried farther by all the sororities than her friends-and I believe this too helped on the confidence level. So, since this really was a saga, let me just say for months, I stressed "GREEK" as opposessed to "a" sorority and gently tried to inform her she could get cut across the board. Did being prepared for the worst and happy with what she found make a difference? I tend to think so. She is one of those lucky ones who honestly CAN'T see herself anywhere else.
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