[h2oot]

Compare the Quotes

(1) James earlier said: "How do we 'rate' people as potential partners? Basically, we sit down and examine the positives and negatives (subconsciously) of each person. Now, a strong sexual side to the relationship is a definite positive - so, since we're all seeking to optimize our relationships, if another girl came along with that positive, and all other things are equal, it makes perfect sense "

(2) James later said: "Well, not speaking for anyone else, not even guys in general, when I am infatuated with someone or in love . . . its like no other experience, if I could bottle it as a drug I wouldn't sell it, i would use it all myself. I swear the world is a better place because that person is alive, the colors seem richer and just the thought of them makes my heart race and my skin break out in goose pimples. Its like agony and ecstasy combined with a sense of wonder and discovery. But, how analytical is that reply? So how useful to a bulletin board full of people? "



I think if you read both of his postings and the feedback he got from each you can see that when you address issues involving "matters of the heart" or of "deep personal conviction" or of "belief", that you are MUCH better sharing your own experiences rather than being over "analytical".

I can't dispute what you or anyone experiences or feels in a given situation, but when/if the posting comes across as too indifferent (especially with an issue involving feelings), that is when many of us get upset and react strongly. When you use words like "rating partners" and "optimizing relationship" it comes across as pure BS.

My suggestion, then, is to deal with matters of the heart, from the heart. There is more truth and wisdom gained in sharing life experiences and reality than in speaking about "love" or "saving yourself", etc. from the head.

Since I took exception to your earlier post, I want to commend the latter one.