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This is a good thread and it shows how things work in some Greek systems- including where I went to school.
Every fraternity with a solid core of brothers that is financially solvent is a perfectly fine chapter that is the right "home" for somebody.
But that is completely separate from being in the top tier socially in a large Greek system at a school where Greek life is an important part of one's social path.
I think this matters a lot more in the South- hence the frequent reference to "Southern"
greek systems (of which I am a product myself), but the real core issue is one of whether being Greek at a particular school has a lot of overlap with one's personal social status and future professional connections.
Being a top tier chapter is expensive. I know $1,600 a semester in dues sounds high to you- but mine were $2,500 ten years ago, and I lived in the house! (People not living in the house paid even more.)
On the matters of rush, sure how people dress seems superficial- but it is not entirely so. How a person dresses says a lot about where they came from, what is important to them, and how much money they have.
Even at your old dues rate of $1,400 a semester, it is important to know that the guys you pledge are going to be able to pay those dues for 4 years. What car they drive and what their parents do for a living is also important when considering these factors.
It is not just the dues after all. Formals alone were $500+ events for actives when I was around between tuxedo rentals, dinner out etc.
Being a top tier chapter means you need to have members who can afford to spend several thousand dollars a year on social events and dues, and not miss the money.
And if there are no shortage of rushees who meet that criteria, then you have to be selective using financial means as a basic qualification.
Let me ask you something, in the last 2 years has your chapter rushed most of its newer members from a small number of high schools? This is usually how this kind of thing gets started- not just your specific situation but any situation where the general character of a chapter begins to make a fundamental shift.
Whether public or private, each individual high school sending lots of kids to college is going to have a predominance of students at a certain financial level and with a general social scene.
If a fraternity gets to where most of its members come from just a handful of similar high schools (which is very common at top tier southern chapters), then those attitudes can dominate the tone of the chapter.
This happens especially in higher social tiers because people at that level tend to remain within their own inner circle for life. Not everyone does- but it is certainly a "home base" comfort zone. And so in this case a fraternity becomes one more step in a pretty set path in life socially as opposed to being a new experience in a more diverse environment.
One is not better or worse than the other, but there it is.
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