Quote:
Originally posted by KSig RC
Perhaps my lack of 'real-world' experience with maintaining a career and a family shines through here - but isn't it a fallacy of false dilemma to say it's one way or the other? Why can't a woman in a marriage situation be family-oriented, and still be self-actualized through a career and outside interests?
Help me out here if I'm wrong . . .
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It's very much a fallacy to suggest this, which is why the argument that they have to go outside of the United States to find women who don't have these "Americanized" careerist atitudes doesn't hold water with me. Most women aren't either/or. Most women in American society have been dancing on the balance of both/and for decades, and don't seem to be any worse for wear because of their dual roles.
What's really at stake (in my opinion) is that these men want someone to be available to them, only to them, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. A woman with outside interests is a threat to them, therefore they go outside the country to find women who are dependent on them not only for their livelihood, but for their very presence on American soil. Regardless of how good looking they are, how successful they might be, that kind of neediness borders on insecurity, and the women in some ways are powerless to do anything about it, because their lives in their home countries are far worse than the circumstances they might find themselves in when they get to the States. This kind of relationship sets up all sorts of unbalanced power dynamics, and in my opinion, when the balance of power is stacked in favor of one partner, both partners in the marriage come out on the losing end of things.