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Old 02-17-2002, 01:37 PM
KSig RC KSig RC is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Who you calling "boy"? The name's Hand Banana . . .
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Quote:
Originally posted by SoTrue1920


Culturally pure? This is AMERICA. There is no such thing as "culturally pure" with respect to this country, and anyone who suggests otherwise should go find Matt Hale and join his congregation.
This is an excellent point - although the "melting pot" cliche is overworked and banal, this statement still rings true. 300-some odd years on this continent does not a culture make.

Quote:
Originally posted by SoTrue1920
I think that one of the reasons that a lot of these men seek foreign brides is because they have this perception that American women are too headstrong, that we are too self-actualized, that we're entirely too independent. If a man sees these qualities as detrimental to forging a relationship, then maybe he needs to take a look at himself and stop placing the blame on women. I think men use these straw man arguments in order to frighten women into thinking that "If I decide to stand up for myself/work outside the home/maintain my independence, I'll never find a suitable mate." What I find most appaling is that these men have embraced the very same "Americanized attitudes" that they blame American women for embracing, but no one even gives them a sideways glance.
I think that, in a way, you too are making a strawman here. I think James's point isn't against the self-actualization of women - actually, I hope it's not - but more likely just a paradigmatic shift in relationship values.

"Relationship values" doesn't infer that career can't come first, or that the woman in a relationship can't fulfill herself through whatever means necessary - and it doesn't implicitly infer that she should be subservient to the man, or that the man can play the hypocrite and avoid his end of the deal.

While the foreign women may bring values to the table that are decidedly old-fashioned, and seem anachronistic to us, I don't know that the correct response to the OP is to reject the hypothesis for this reason.

Although I'm certain your generalization of men denying women as headstrong etc. certainly rings true in certain instances (we've all met that couple, whether they be grandparents or etc), I don't know that these gentlemen in question do the same - I don't personally equate 'family-oriented' with 'not career-oriented' . . .

Perhaps my lack of 'real-world' experience with maintaining a career and a family shines through here - but isn't it a fallacy of false dilemma to say it's one way or the other? Why can't a woman in a marriage situation be family-oriented, and still be self-actualized through a career and outside interests?

Help me out here if I'm wrong . . .
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