Justamom, I don't think the problem lies with men pressuring women or laying down devestatingly logical arguments that force women to have sex with them. If you know said arguments please email them to me
.
I just think that the rarely mentioned subtext on the issue is that the man wil eventually tire of the virgin situation. He knows it and she knows it. It creates a lot of tension. Obviously the man isn't looking it at the same way she is, which I assume is some type of religious prohibilition, because arguing it through ethics would be really hard and give me a headache. Its easier to take the Thou Shalt Not approach, it ends the argument.
So to him the fact remains that she doesn't want to have sex with him, and is maybe uncomfortable with some other types of activities also. To him that is no different than if the girl has some type of sexual dysfunction that doesn't allow her to want to have sex with him until they establish the level of committmen called marriage. The end result to him is the same and he has no guarentee that she is going to turn into some adventorous sexual predator after the ring goes on either.
Also, its an economics issue for guys. There are many marvelous women out there that are bright, witty, loyal, relationship orientated . . . and will be physically intimate with the guy without much drama. If he is into that type of sexual intimacy it would make more sense for him to leave his non-sexual relationship and take up with the other awesome girl.
The "soul mate" is a cute argument. But the vast majority of people don't meet, travel, or date enough people to ever even have a small claim that they have "looked" for their soul mate.
If you date a small handful of people and then marry one, did ou find your soul mate? Or the best out of a limited field? Or worse dating an alright person at the time you thought you should marry. I have talked to numerous married people that said the relationship before or the one before that was actually the right one.
I don't have a problem with women that want to remain virgins and I wouldn' t pressure one much, but I don't think its useful for a lot of them to sit there and say the world should be different to reflect their beliefs. I also don't hav a lot of sympathy for men that whine and give attitude about not getting any when dating a virgin.