[AlethiaSi]

first of all, don't be sorry, it is completely understandable that you should feel this way! I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to be on the fringes of this relationship, and wondering what would happen from day to day (week to week).
You ultimately will decide if staying with her or continuing to work on this is worth it. I always think that you will reach your own threshold, and it will be what's best for you when the time is right. I know it's easy for me to say trust your instincts, but no amount of talking about this with other people will necessarily change your mind, either way.
I'm sorry that you are going through this, and I hope that things work out the best for YOU!