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My sorority never had a chapter house so this was never an issue for us. I suggest that you hold the next event you have involving alumni in a public place rather than in the house. It is amazing how well behaved people are when they are in public. They might trash your house, but they would never trash a restaurant or a rented room. I think that you should have a code of conduct that includes both the actives and alumni. If the alumni have a problem with that, then maybe it is better that they not participate in your events. Good Luck!
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