Quote:
Originally posted by Kimmie1913:
I think the feeling that you do not associate with Black people out of some level of anger and a rejection of Black people is why they are bothered. You post reflects some hostility over the rejection you felt and the expectation that you should conform to their ideal image of you. I suspect that may come across in person as well.
I know what it is like to be ostracised, told you look white, talk white. It is always difficult when you find people constantly questioning your identity and trying to define you for you.
Sigmagirl, what stands out to me in your post is the fact that you have some anger towards those who have burned you in the past. What I hope for you is that you learn to get past that and open yourself up to friendship opportunities that may otherwise pass you by without you knowing it. You sound like yoor expereinces have caused you to be closed off in that way. (of course, that is reading a post and could be way off base, so forgive me if it is wrong) I think there is a benefit to all people to have relationships with diverse groups of friends. Although I do not know you and cannot say what the real effect any of this will or won't have on you may be, there often is a more deep seeded issue when some one simply does not associate with people of their own race. For some, it reflects an internalization of steroetypes about their own people, for others it is a feeling of rejection turned to anger based on past experience.
If I could know, what I would want to know from you is what relevance do you beleive being a Black person holds in your life? Is it irrelevant to your life? Is it an integral deifning part of who you are or something more happenstance about you? I am NOT asking you to answer me. I just suspect that the way that people answer these questions has a lot to do with their feelings on this topic. For me, being a Black person is a central part of my identity. It is significant to me and about me.
[This message has been edited by Kimmie1913 (edited May 02, 2001).]
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Kimmie,
I appreciate your candor and introspective post. If this was a therapy website, I would go into the HUNDREDS of instances and experiences I have had that have brought me to this place I am. I don't feel this is the right place, but I have been mentally, socially, and MOST importantly (to my feelings) PHYSICALLY abused by black men and women. Many others would probably feel the way I do if they lived my life...I again thank you for your asking me about myself...It shows you have a great soul...
And to answer your question, being black to me is something that is an afterthought, really, in my daily life. Frankly, it never comes up, in my mind or in my daily conversations...