[33girl]

If this other sister is also an alum, she has NO business making decisions about who to rush or how bigs & littles should be picked. I know that locals often let alums have a bit more say in collegiate chapter operations than NPC groups do, but the things she's advocating are WAY over the top. (Not to mention completely contradictory to most basic rush/operations practices.)

I had a similar falling out with a sister who was one of my best friends and this is really a time when you have to put it aside and keep on plugging because it's for the sorority. LPIDelta is right, eventually others will wake up and see her true colors...I've seen it happen and it really DOES happen, even if you think it never will. Not only that, there might be other people who feel that way about her, but if you just knuckle under and let her win they'll feel like they are wrong.

Don't try to "work things out." How could you ever trust this person again? You don't need to say more to her than hi or hello. The friendship is dead. Let it go. Stop apologizing, stop emailing, stop letter writing. In your world, she doesn't exist any longer. Don't say "well I think the big/little idea that Psycho had is stupid" - just present your own idea, without referring to hers.

Also - make sure that other people know that you and this girl are NOT on speaking terms, and that anything that comes out of her mouth about you (especially saying that you said this or that) should not be believed. If there's anyone who you think has changed their opinion of you because of what she's said, go to them now and set things straight.