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This meeting is about the sorority--not you and this sister. If you care about the sorority as much as you say you do, you'll go and figure out how to be a productive asset, and not let your personal life affect the sorority's business.
I always tell the women in the chapter that I advise that many times sorority happenings "are not personal, just business" and you need to insist that is the case. By staying away, you are allowing the personal to affect the business and functioning of the sorority, and that is not productive.
Also--understand that eventually someone, if not everyone, will see this woman for who she really is because eventually she will tire of you and start doing the same things to someone else. I had a manipulative sister in my chapter that eventually ended up driving away several sisters--I wish at some point I would have been mature or insightful enough to see it, confront her or at the least talk to her about how her taking things personally was affecting the chapter and relationships among sisters.
Good luck.
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