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My big and I did not have the best relationship either. She could be very rude to me and many of the other sisters and we just stopped talking all together. I ended up developing a good relationship with another sister that was in her pledge class and although she never "adopted" me -- she felt like my big. I also developed good relationships with my little and grand-little who I still talk to today (7 years later).
You can't change your big's behavior. You can only change the way you react to it. If you love your sorority and are active in it, the relationship you have with her shouldn't effect it. If you can, look into being adopted. If not, look to get an awesome little next recruitment.
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