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Sig Ep means a lot to you and your family. I admire your zeal. My guess is that it's more than finances, it's family. And, Sig Ep has a lot to offer, the Sig Ep brand will do you well, long after graduation.
You have three options. One is to transfer to another school with a Sig Ep house. No guarantees you will get in, that's up to that chapter. You may want to explore the chapters that are at colleges you could transfer to. See if that is an option.
The second is to go greek, where you are. The seven fraternities are all good nationals, most with mentoring programs like Balanced Man. I don't know much about each chapter locally, but some might be a good match.
> there is no chance of it ever coming back
The third option is recolonizing Sig Ep. You already have three alums, who are, hopefully, willing to help with time or finances. I don't know why Sig Ep left your campus, but Sig Ep national is always looking to recolonize where it once had a chapter. Of course, the campus IFC has to be open to new houses, but with 9000 students, another house might be welcome? If your Sig Ep folded due to finances, recruitment, etc., the campus administration won't have any heartburn with bringing it back.
If the chapter was closed due to risk management problems (my guess?), you have a bigger problem, but national has dealt with this before. They have a good message, and a good success rate, so the administration will at least talk to the national folks. And you can then have your name on the new charter, which is a great thing for you and your family. At least talk to national, they'll talk to you, you haven't done anything wrong.
As far as becoming an alumni member, look in your Sig Ep Journal to see who has become an alum member in the past and see what they did to become one. It's a rare longshot.
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