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My brothers didn't like one of my ex's, one incident happened. At the next meeting I politely explained that I understand that most of them don't care for her but that it was my choice to date who I dated and that they should respect me and my choice and treat her with respect. At the very least I asked them to respect the fact that if they treat her bad I'm going to have to hear about it and I really don't have time or patience for drama.
I also explained in a similar fashion to her that she needed to treat them with respect even though she knows they don't like her or ignore them.
worked out ok
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