Well, Jen and Gail are officially out. We talked and we're all friends and everything, but they're definitely not in the sorority. It sorta makes me wonder what kind of judge of character I am...anyway, now today I have to call the Student Organizations Office and beg them for the ability to put up flyers and have meetings on campus. Beyond this, I don't know what to do. Do I need to notify nationals and tell them that we only have three/four members? I'm not sure where Celeste stands on this whole thing- we totally want her in but she might not be down for it. She seems really into it though. My sisters (all two of them) wanted me to call her last night but I explained to them that if Celeste declined a bid from us I might just have a complete breakdown and give up, I was so not in a position to handle that then. If I'm told I'm definitely not allowed to do any of these things in terms of advertisement, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I feel like I've harrased all of my friends so much already, I don't know who else to go to. It's so frustrating. I just feel like I'm not strong enough to do this- it's sooooo much harder than I expected and it completely drains me of my energy you know? I'm not giving up but damn am I exhausted. Plus, Gail bought a whole bunch of cookie and cake making supplies for us to have a bake sale with, and both girls want their money back for their paraphanalia, but we aren't allowed to fundraise at all so we have no money, so I don't know where we're going to get the money to pay her back except from our own pockets. Which means me pouring more money into this thing that just feels like it's going down the drain. I'm sorry if I'm being depressing but I am really feeling lost right now.
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