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It depends on the campus culture, and the attitude of the chapters. At my school, many people who ended up in D9 orgs were first members of other GLOS (Phi Sigma Pi, Delta Sigma Pi, APO).
And to answer your question about why you should keep your interest on the DL...
Members of the D9 value DISCRETION and HUMILITY. Often, people who are proclaiming from the rooftops that they want to be in a particular org are not humble about their pursuit. And if your friend was saying she wanted to be a Delta to everyone she met, that may have something to do with why she didn't make it.
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Oh... you know.
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