[shadokat]

I agree with the politely saying no, and hopefully it will work. As for bids, when we had informal recruitment, which wasn't as small as yours, but it was still similar in format, we had a policy that a woman must attend 2 parties to be considered for a bid. So after someone came to 2 parties, we would vote on them. If they got a bid, we would go up to their room or house or whatever and extend their bid in person, at which time we would say that she could think about it as long as she'd like, and that we would be having a bid party for all of our new members on XYZ date. We would let her think about it for a few days, or she'd accept or reject on the spot. Eventually though, our parties would end, and we'd start new member orientation. Hope this helps a little.