[northwestgirl]

Alright everyone...just so you can read this and be done if you want:

I dropped out today.

It's a really long story, but honestly, I am happy with my choice and know that for at least this moment in my life, it is the right one for me. Formal rush apparently just wasn't for me. I didn't like it, as much as I tried to look at the good sides. The conversations were fake all things considered, the girls can only tell you so much, and even if you think everything is going great...my experience has been that it's really not.

I got back to the two of my least favorites today, and as I left my first party, I knew that it wasn't working. I wasn't excited or looking forward to what is suppost to be an amazing day. I didn't feel like myself anymore, I don't even know who I was trying to be.

I felt like even though the two houses I was invited back to presented me with an amazing opportunity, I didn't feel good enough to take it. At my last house, a house that I have always felt confortable at, I talked to the girl that I always thought would be my "big sis". It was hard. I cried. But as our conversation continued she could tell what I needed to do.

There is more, but for now I would like to leave it be. I am going through informal though, in case you were wondering. My RC signed me up this afternoon. If nothing more, I think that time for my will cement my choice to be a right one. I am perfectly fine waiting a couple of quarters to know for sure. As I've said before, this is a commitment that I am taking to heart, and I need to feel confident and good when I'm doing in to it.

Thank you all for your amazing support. I wish my fellow UW pnms a WONDERFUL time with their new sisters tomorrow. It's an experience that I hope to have soon!