Quote:
Originally Posted by AGDee
I think whether you attend practices depends on the age of the child and how well you know the coach. Personally, when I coached soccer, I preferred when parents stayed for practice. It was far better than them arriving 30 minutes after practice was supposed to end! But, I had 6 and 7 year old boys and no assistant coach too, so the help with practices was appreciated. We liked when parents stayed for some of the Cub Scout meetings too, especially one mom whose son was learning disabled. It would have been hard for the two of us to manage 13 boys and deal with his special needs without chaos reigning.
I'm apparently abusive too though... My son got CHOIR on his schedule (CHOIR!!!!!!) and hadn't signed up for it. It's his first year of middle school and he wasn't sure what to do. His sister and I told him he just needed to go to the office and ask them if he could change it something else. He wanted me to do it. I told him I would go with him but that he had to do the talking. He practiced with me first..lol. We walked in the office and the secretary said "Can I help you?". My son froze and then nudged me, wanting me to answer. I turned to him and said "Tell her what the problem is" and he recited his practiced line "I got choir but I didn't sign up for it". Anyway, in the long run, he talked to the secretary and the school counselor and I didn't do the talking. I will go do penance for it now...
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You handled this perfectly. You supported your son into being able to handle a problem himself. He is one step closer to being able to advocate completely for himself and live life as a productive adult one day (albeit, one who doesn't sing in the choir
).
Getting the kids to do things for themselves is the key.
One of the best examples of helicopter parenting was from a UGA adviser about a students who when working on a his schedule and plan of study just called his mother and put the adviser on the line. That's the fruit of helicoptering.
It sounds like in the cases you are describing, you wanted parental assistance and you got it. I don't think there is a problem with that. It also sounds that the parents understood their roles and didn't try to usurp your leadership. Helicopter parents are incapable of doing that. Some of the difference in helicoptering and normal parenting, I think, is that helicopter parents decide to do things that no one has asked them to do or wants them to do.