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I think that people will handle things based on your cues. Chances are, you wouldn't necessarily stay the two or three hours for the entire event, so leaving after an hour wouldn't raise a flag.
When it is time for you to leave the first event, thank everyone for their hospitality. If they ask for a reason, say that you have plans for 6pm. That's all you need to say.
I don't see it as a big deal if a Beta sees you downstairs with the Alphas. You said yourself it is a public place.
I would suggest trying to relax a little. You seem really worked up. Be yourself. Really. Moms say this and it's so true. And don't stress so much about designer clothing. Be comfortable and just have fun. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
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