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This is a hard question to answer in a vacuum without knowing what policies are at issue, but in most situations the answer is that the chapter (and you, as the house mother) have to follow both sets of policies, which results in following the stricter if the policies are different. This is harder to do if the college says to do something that impossible to do at the same time as following your sorority's policies. In that situation, I would contact the sorority first to figure out if they will either (1) grant an exception, or (2) contact the college themself about changing the college's policy if the sorority believes that strongly in its own policies.
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